L'enfant Terrible

Captain Stuart Turnips cursed the treachery of whoever it was who betrayed the location of the lost treasure of the magic bridge and Treasure Island. "ARRGH" he muttered to himself.

Somewhere along Old Shelby Road in the wild Irish province of Oceana County (or County Oceana as the locals referred to it in their drunken brogues) an armed gang of highwaymen stopped the stage coach carrying his mother Lady Turnips and stole his magic map.

Captain Stuart Turnips turned to his father Lord Turnip Townshend for advice.

Lord Turnips: "There are a couple possibilitities my son" He cleared his throat in his phlegmatic manner. "This seems like the work of the infamous 'Dandy Highwayman' which you recall from the legends but he has not yet been seen round these parts. But this attack had none of the hallmarks of his work. After all, Lady Turnip's vestments were not stolen, she was not ravished and the record collection on the stage coach was left intact"

Lord Turnips: "I think what is more likely is that you have a Judas among your crew"

Captain Stuart Turnips interupted his father.

Captain Stuart: "A Judas! That can't be!" [it was at this moment that last night's wild Irish cuisine rose to a bile in the back of Captain Stuart's throat and spilled all over the plush cushons of the drawing room sofa, requiring the entire Turnip family and all their staff to clean the cushions of what appeared to be a combination of Logan's Roadhouse peanuts, chicken nuggets, and that morning's pancake and sausage platter]

Lord Turnips: "Yes son, I think you need to hire a specialist for this sort of thing. I know a boy who is just the same age as your crew. This lad specializes in the art of noodling through who the betrayer just might be. He'll join your crew, he'll eat with them, he'll drink with them, and rampage and pillage with them."

Captain Stuart interupted: "No Daddy, We're good pirates now!"

Lord Turnips [bemused]: "Yes of course. I had forgotten. Certainly, good pirates. Anyway, this lad is just the sort to solve the riddle of who stole the map to the musical bridge and Treasure Island."

Captain Stuart: "Are you sure this boy won't be found out by the crew? Won't they be angry if they find out that he's sneaking around? I want my crew to like me."

Lord Turnips [laughing]: "Pure folly my boy!" If you want to run a tight ship you need to make sure these rogues are motivated by the desire for profit for themselves and for the entire ship, and by a fear that if they don't pull their own weight you'll toss them to the mackeral."

Captain Stuart: "In other words 'Since love and fear can hardly exist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved.'"

Lord Turnips: "Exactly."

Captain Stuart: "So where do I find this sneak?"