We’ve all been there. You know … stuck in a longboat, somewhere in the South China Sea, wedged uncomfortably between a psychopathic gunslinger and a the recently dethroned “duchess of destruction” herself, the erstwhile Lady Marzipan.
Heard it before? Sure. Thought so.
The weather was doing a kindness to the occupants of this tiny craft. It was overcast and about 80 degrees Fahrenheit. Thus was the porcelain skin of Lady M spared. As for Mr. Sixguns, it made him no difference as the cruel Sonoran sun had permanently toughened his leathery hide.
The dorsal fins of a few patrolling sharks were visible – they had gathered around the boat because Johnny Sixguns had been feeding the ravenous little terrors tidbits left over from the survival luncheon (this was a relatively well equipped rescue longboat).
“Got anymore of them petits four, Marzipan” Sixgun called over his shoulder, (mispronouncing Marzipan to make it rhyme with “pan.”), “my little friends here love ‘em!”
Obviously, the effects of being adrift at sea had seriously affected Mr. Sixguns cognitive abilities for at present he did not see sharks, rather he imagined them to be adorable baby pandas.
(editors note:I mean, that's not hard to understand, pandas are amazingly adorable)
For her part, Lady M, was not much better off – she imagined herself to be Charlotte Rampling in “Marat/Sade” and was presently scheming to stab the lead, as played by Monsieur Sixguns, in his bath. She just needed some inmates to complete the ensemble and it would be PERFECT!!!
She would make her escape to Havana and be crowned Queen of the May, the lord of Atlantis at her side.
And to think, it had only been a day and a half.
Huzzah! Another post by W-S. We are doubly blessed with the rich, creamy goodness of your articles.
ReplyDeleteI sure hope J6G doesn't try to pet the pandas.
And who's left to rescue them? No one on the Nautilus would care. Hmm, the London urchin knows their whereabouts, but who will he tell?
Otto?
- Rossaroni
P.S. - In order to avoid copyright issues, Nemo's ship may have to be renamed Naut-o-lus.
Lord, Lady and Captain Stuart have seen a bunch of different sharks this week in their trip to Atlantis. Near old Nassau in the West Indies.
ReplyDeleteAs a matter of fact we have seen so many sharks that they are as common as dogs here. Sweet, little dachshunds and schnauzers that only think of killing.
I hope you don't contract the Yellowjack. Why anyone would vacation in the Fever Islands is quite beyond me. During my military career I avoided the West Indies like the plague (pardon the pun).
ReplyDelete