While waiting for an original effort from Lord Woodpecker-Smythe, why don't we all feast our funny bones on this excerpted piece of goodness from my friend over at Being Dr. Doolittle: Stories and Idle Chatter? While she's generally a jovial, although jejune, thrice divorced,* young nerd-ette ex-Marine** with the best education Lancaster Pennsylvania can provide, her description of her love for honey mustard fulfils my love for needlessly long descriptions of food and fills my heart with joy. Bon Appetit!
The last and most awesome defining aspect of being at George Mason is the shocking availability of condiments at this school. Not just any condiment. I’m talking about the sweet and tangy goodness that is honey mustard. I’m not sure who sat on the George Mason University Dining Board and decided that there shall be honey mustard wherever there are students, but they should get the Nobel Peace Prize. Seriously.
I bought a plain ham and cheese sandwich from their little convenience store to stave off some I-missed-dinner hunger pains. Seeing that the sandwich was as dry as the Mojave on a Tuesday in August, I decided to hit up the condiment bar for some yellow mustard or some mayo, whatever was available. As I’m scoping out the selection, which I’m sure you’d agree is generally pretty poor wherever you go, my eyes fell upon a beautiful sight. It was as though the heavens opened up and rained sunshine into the room packed with oblivious students. I thought I heard angels sing as I feasted my eyes upon a never before seen phenomenon: there, in all of its glory, was a big, giant dispenser of honey mustard. I couldn’t believe my eyes! I rubbed my eyes to be sure it wasn’t a chemistry-induced mirage. I pinched myself to make sure I was awake. Then, after people around me started looking at me funny, I finally dispensed the inaugural tablespoon of golden yummy-ness onto my sandwich. That was the coolest thing ever!
Good stuff, Dr. Doolittle!
* She's actually only twice divorced
** She played flute for the Marines. The world's most deadly band camp.
You had me worried with that thrice business...I was starting to wonder if my split personality was up to its tricks again. That would, however, explain why I'm always broke...oh, no, wait...that's just my Coach handbag fetish. Nevermind!
ReplyDeleteAwesome post! Most appreciated is the free publicity!! It's even better than a sign that say's "Eat At Joe's!" (Which would only rock if Joe served the glorious deliciousness of honey mustard).
You had me worried with that thrice business...I was starting to wonder if my split personality was up to its tricks again. That would, however, explain why I'm always broke...oh, no, wait...that's just my Coach handbag fetish. Nevermind!
ReplyDeleteAwesome post! Most appreciated is the free publicity!! It's even better than a sign that say's "Eat At Joe's!" (Which would only rock if Joe served the glorious deliciousness of honey mustard).
Seriously...didn't mean to post that twice. Me and "anti-me" are going to have a serious talk later.
ReplyDelete