Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Happy One Year Anniversary, Barrister's Keepe!


Well kids, what a long strange trip it's been. Now that Barrister's Keepe has completed one whole year and 176 hard hitting articles about idiots and general buffoonary, I have an important announcement to make.

Starting immediately, Barrister's Keepe will convert to what I have always wanted it to be, a blog for and about Lego Dioramas. As this diorama depicting Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog shows, the Lego Diorama genre is just super-duper. Here we see Dr. Horrible being beaten up by the local superhero.

Um, on second thought, that's kind of lame. Not Dr. Horrible, THAT'S awesome, or even Lego dioramas, which are awesome, but to a lesser degree. But the idea of writing about them is a little lame. And it doesn't even work well as a joke in a blog either. Moving on...

I think what we'll continue to do is to write more articles about idiots acting idiotically.

We seem to have hit on a general theme in all the "worlds" we write about. The story revolves around 3 people: the Admiral/Brigadier, Turnips, and Woodpecker-Smyth (a.k.a. Woody, a.k.a. W-S, a.k.a. Homer J. Fong). The Admiral/General claims to be a leader, and is rather devious and Machiavellian in his behavior (bordering on monstrous lately, it seems). His friend Turnips is usually suffering from some sort of traumatic brain-injury-slash-Manchurian-Candidate-brainwashing. With hilarious results. And Woodpecker-Smythe is the Breakout character, a la Kramer from Seinfeld. His enthusiasticly idiotic nature completes the comedy troika.

And these character always seem to be on a mission. And it always involves trying to rescue/capture One Lady Marzipan, depending on whether she's good or evil.

This is the formula.

But where will it go next? The D&D universe can't last forver. Here are a few ideas:

Star Trek Barrister's Keepe
Our intrepid trio are part of the Star Trek Universe (Whether TOS, TNG, DS9, STV, or Enterprise can be negotiated. And if you don't know what the acronyms stand for, you're not geeky enough to be reading this blog). Just imagine Captain Rossaroni ordering Turnips, his Vulcan Science Officer, to mind meld with Chief Medical Officer Woodpecker-Smythe. The comedy and copyright violation potential is unlimited!

The Gospel According to Barrister's Keepe
Imagine Devinci's The Last Supper. Now imagine it in the hilarious Barrister's Keepe universe. Perhaps Jesus actually had 15 disciples, with three of them being idiots. Or maybe Our Lord and Savior Rossaroni has disciples like John(ny Six Guns), Mary Marzipan, Woodpecker son of Smythe, and the traitor Turnips Iscariot. The only thing stopping this thing from being written is my fear of damnation.

That's all folks. It's been a fun year. I now return you to the narrative...

4 comments:

  1. Rossaroni, your ideas are intriguing since they incorporate some of my favorite themes, namely comedy sacrilege and intellectual piracy.

    I'm torn but I'd suggest first that once we enter Toranaga's kitchen stadium for the fashion/cooking duel we get blown into the future where we find ourselves aboard the enterprise which we'll have to rename the Enta-Prize or something

    Then we go back to ancient judea where we are a team of hotrodding undercover cops in 15BC Jerusalem with tdys to damascus and alexandria and pompeii -

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  2. I have a suggestion from Little Captain Stuart Turnips.

    We are are Indiana Jones-like archeologists who go around discovering and looting rare antiquities.

    Our mission? Head to the year 2009 to save the Bamyan Statues

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  3. Well done young Turnips

    So, sacking would be involved? A little sacking?

    Also, weren't the Bamyan Statues already blowed up by 2009?

    W-S

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  4. Yeah the Bamyan Statues were blown up in March 2001. (Apparently,) nothing amuses me more than
    inaccurate time travel.

    Stuart's ideas for movies could fuel this blog for years to come. His idea for Indiana Jones 5 is:

    "Indiana Jones and the Buddha's Statues" Story: Indiana Jones tries to save the Bamyan Statues but the story ends with a nazi submarine being eaten by a giant stingray.

    His idea for Indiana Jones 6 is:

    "Indiana Jones and the Ancient Mummy" Story: Indy goes after a King Tut-like saracophagus only to find that the mummy is animated. The story ends when a nazi submarine is attacked by a giant godzilla-like monster.

    Kid has a future in film. [NOTE: These ideas are protected intellectual property.]

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