The Case of the Adamantine Chopsticks

Fresh air was circulated about the Ammonite by means of a heterodyne pump system invented by Nemo himself. The pump's rhythmic 'tapocketa tapocketa' sounds were, of course, dampened in the Captain's comfortable stateroom where he held forth with his first mate, Mr. Scott Rubel.

A unexpected knock on the door interrupted their discussion over a game of canasta.

"Oh, what is it now" said Nemo, clearly exasperated as he placed his cards down.

The sailor replied "Captain, sir, we have a survivor - a young woman .. shall I bring her to you for interrogation?

"I suppose so" replied Nemo and then turning to Rubel, "Will you excuse me?"

"And, Mr. Rubel, please set a course for the Orinoco, we have some Hevea Brasiliensis to 'acquire' Nemo added sardonically.

In unison, the entire crew laughed aloud, "HARHARHARHARHAR!"

Upon Rubel's departure, Nemo depressed a switch which automatically retracted various portraits in the stateroom. For your edification, these were largely watercolors depicting the Captain and his former "best chum" Caprice holding aloft trophies the pair had won at events at such as the Turnip Foundation Annual Charitable Badminton Match for Advancement of Clever Young Lads by Half.

The portraits were replaced by more 'action oriented' poses wherein Nemo was depicted in grandiose oils fighting Manticores and the like.

At any rate, once this operation was complete, the female prisoner, wet and bedraggled, was ushered into Nemo's presence.

"You uncouth, ungentlemanly brute!" she exclaimed as she cocked back her arm to deliver a standard British Feminine Furious Faceslap.

She was restrained however by the standard contingent of burly guards as Nemo and Muddy chortled.

Nemo was non-plussed and answered "You may address me as Captain Nemo, with the accent on the second syllable and I am the master of this vessel and your congenial host .. and just who might you be?"

"I am the Lady Lyme Weoghe and my father shall be furious with you! That ship you sunk was carrying a years worth of cricket bats, wicket bails and balls destined for the West Indies. Now their season shall be spoilt! I say good day to you sir!" she added for good measure.

"Cricket be damned Lady for it is amongst my top 10 goals in life to destroy the sport of cricket! Muhahahahahahahaha!" he added for more good measure.

Immediately, the Lady Lyme Weoghe drew her other hand to her mouth and nearly swooned at the Captain's vulgarity. "My father shall have you clapped in irons and your little stooge too!" she continued.

Suddenly abashed, the Captain declared "please forgive me, I shall direct our chef to prepare the standard sumptuous dinner for the two of us and Muddy and I shall regale you with tales of the life aquatic and plans for world domination. (TM)"

Meanwhile, some 20,000 Leagues distant (metaphorically speaking of course), the Royal Linnean Society was set to induct its newest member.

Curiously, in addition to inventing the "Q-Device" (the act for which she would receive the Society's Prestigious Gold Medal), she was perhaps better known to a select few as Nemo's erstwhile badminton parter. However, Dr. Caprice Beamish-Sykes-Norrie-Hargison had completely guiled the dottering fools of the Society. She had cleverly disguised herself by drawing her hair up with two adamantine tipped chopsticks and donned a pair of spectacles.

She would waltz in; take their precious medal and put her cunning plan into action ... right under their snuff filled nostrils.