Inane: (adj.) - lacking sense, significance, or ideas

Fade in. The location is Captain Nemo's personal dining room on board the Nautilus. Seated at the table are Nemo, Lord Turnips (with a bandage wrapped around his head), and Brigadier Rossaroni.

Rossaroni: Well Nemo, I've got to hand it to you, in addition to your ingenious plan which retook control of the Nautilus from Marzipan's minions, you've put your dining salon back into top form. Pray tell us what we have in store for us this evening, in addition to this marvelous port and salmon roe you've served for the amuse course.

Nemo: Delighted to, sir. After the amuse course, the palate is best served with some sort of cold appetizer. In this case, wild mushroom canape. As the canape is a bit spicy, the lobster bisque that follows will be an excellent taste juxtaposition and should enhance the flavour substantially.

Rossaroni: But if you're planning to serve some shellfish after this course, which I assume you are, wouldn't that clash with the lobster?

Nemo: That is precisely why we have a boullion between the two courses!

Rossaroni: Ha! Ha! Of course! I should have known! Turnips, by the way, how's that head of yours?

Turnips: It's nothing compared to the worry I have over my poor boy. How long before we get back to Kowloon?

Nemo: We should arrive tomorrow night, m'Lord. Now, where was I? Oh yes, as you correctly surmised, we will be having shellfish after our broth. Steamed scallops with ginger and garlic to be specific. Now, and this I believe you will find most exciting, as we move into the Antipasto phase of the meal, I'm going to completely change course and shun seafood for the rest of the meal.

Rossaroni: How daring!

Nemo: Indeed. I believe you will find the bruschetta antipasto an excellent lead-in to the parmigiana di melanzane of the pasta course. It's one of my chef's specialities.

Turnips: I'm a big fan of turnip dishes, how nice of you to have one tonight. Say, when did you say we get to Picadilly?

Nemo (casting a glance and a raised eyebrow to Rossaroni): We get back to Kowloon tomorrow night, m"Lord.

Turnips: Splendid!

Rossaroni: Ye...es. Um, back to the dinner then. Let me see if I can guess what we'll be having next, if I may?

Nemo: Certainly.

Rossaroni: Well, naturally, I assume we'll be having some sort of sorbet Intermezzo at this point, but after that I fancy, in order to be in keeping with your daring seafood free schema, you'll be going in the direction lamb or bird at this point.

Nemo: Well, which one? I can't let you guess both.

Rossaroni (laughing): Indeed not. Well, if for no other reason than you're a Navy man, I'm going to say that you're not a big fan of lamb, so I'm going to go in the avian direction. With chicken being too pedestrian for you, I'm going to hang my hat on Cornish Game Hens.

Nemo: So close! So close! It's quail.

(General laughter ensues)

Nemo: After the quail we will dive straight into the beef. Beef Wellington, in honour of your great general. And we'll be adding a mischevious twist, with a french sauce, bringing France and Britain together at last!

Rossaroni: Nicely done! I can only imagine what the dessert courses will look like.

Nemo: I think I'll keep that secret until we're done with the beef. To build the anticipation. But I'll give you a hint that there will be a pudding, ice cream, cheese, fruit, coffee, and Petit four course. That makes a total of 16 courses.

Rossaroni: Bravo! Marvelous!

Turnips (sotto voce): That's monstrous.