Children of Mu

Cued by a sinister symphony of kettle drums and baritone strings, Madame Helena Blavatsky ushered in her guests, a Monsieur Charles Etienne Brassuer and the self-styled “Colonel” James Churchward.

“Velcome, Velcome to my home!” she called out brightly in a heavily accented voice, her expansive bosom heaving with excitement, “Today, the Theosophical Society shall address the issue of great import to all of us … namely the Land of Mu and some gin.”

Brassuer carefully stroked his goatee before replying, “My dear madame Blavatsky, what is it that concerns you regarding the Mu for surely it’s location remains hidden from all in this dimension.”

“I think have an inkling of the issue that ‘tugs at her corset’ so to speak” the Colonel replied.

Brasseur spoke sotto voce, “Do go on then sir”

“You see my fine French friend, those Barrister’s Keepe imbeciles have come a croppers with our Oriental friends in search of that blasted UR-GIN which we know is a Lemurian creation, the predecessors of Atlantis.”

The Colonel was about to continue, his hand tightly cupped about the bowl of his pipe, betraying an inner sense of panic, but was interrupted by Madame Blavatsky.

“Yes, at least one of zem nearly discovered the secret entrance in the Magyk Shoppe in the Kowloon Walled City but were subsequently distracted – distracted like a kitten vis a ball of ze string und zen hijacked on ze high seas by the dread Lady Marzipan.”

The Colonel broke in suddenly, “Ah yes, the Ur-Gin, according to my translations of the Naacal Tablets, written in the ancient Naga script, the gin is located safely in the center of the city. The city is surround by three moats and three walls of increasingly impenetrable materials. The last being pure Oreichalk.”

“What!” cried Brasseur, “Oreichalk is as precious as gold and as durable as steel.”

“Tut, tut” Madame Blavatsky said, pouring both gentlemen a cup of tea, “the gin is safely located within the temple of Poseidon – I’m sure ze intrepid Captain Nemo’ is aware of zis story though – as long as his wessel is incapacitated we have nozing to be fearink.”

Brasseur lost what remained of his cool. “What if Lady Marzipan gets her hands on that Oreichalk or the Terrible Crystals? She could easily power a dozen Q-devices by tuning in the power of cosmos! ”

Madame Blavatsky took no apparent notice and replied "You look a bit distressed Charles, vould you care for a funnel cake wis extra powdered sugar?"