A man of prodigious talents, and a fiery hell-raiser, Lord Woodpecker-Smythe was raised in Shrewsbury, West Midlands, England, the son of a cut-purse and notorious bookie. As a boy he decided to become an even more successful cut-purse, beginning by studying the improved uncanny dodge techniques of the Arch Thief, MacAngus. Although he succeeded in sneaking and lurking, he was abruptly orphaned at the age of 12. A mere six months later, he discovered by the theatrical booking agent, Lord Albert Woodpecker-Smythe and his wife, Popper, at an impromptu presentation of Gilbert and Sullivan’s “The Yeoman of the Guard” at the West Midlands Orphanage (See photo above).
During the merry years that followed, W-S, Jr., as he came to be called, enjoyed the finest education and worldly experiences his step-parents could provide. He was educated at Eton where he excelled at talking about Cricket, Rugby and World Affairs. He later made his official stage debut at 17, playing Sir Horace Pumpernickle, in “The Lokarian Chamberpot Merchant of Venice (See photo above).” Subsequently, he earned top marks, taking A-levels in Far Eastern Languages & Cinema, Method Acting, Arithmetic and Typesetting. Upon graduation, W-S entered Cambridge and met fellow Barrister’s Keepe members, Thornton-Pickle, the Brigadier and Lord Turnips along with Lady Lyme Weoghe and Lady Marzipan. At the time, none got along due to allergies and papal doctrine. While at Cambridge, W-S took a first in Dialectical Mathematics and Swains in Literature His 10 years at Cambridge ingrained in him a life-long love of learning, fine ales and snobbery.
Following graduation, He served briefly as chief morale and laundry officer aboard the HMS Buttered Toast, a Royal Navy minesweeper. Woodpecker-Smythe left the Navy upon the sudden death of his parents in a still-unexplained ballooning accident in the Alps on the estate of The Fiendish Mustache of Ubergruppenfuhrer von Ortel’s estate. But, as tradition had it, he was elevated to the Barony of Woodpecker on Shrewsbury, a very real sounding British title of nobility (see photo above).
Not to give in to tragedy, Woodpecker-Smythe, spent the next 10 years traveling about the world, making observations of the varied birds and drawing highly accurate representations in his notebooks. Along the way, he has encountered the following: fearsome hyenas, wyverns, swamps, Rakshasah hunters, Girl Guides ™, western gunslingers, discos, squash racquets and courts, Q-Devices, ruby tipped wands and egomanical pirates and submarine captains.
As a result of these and equally fascinating encounters, Woodpecker-Smythe has completed numerous one, two and three act plays, some of which have been presented at the Old Vic (sometimes with an audience). These include, “Face to Face with a Wyvern” and “The Murder of the Viking.”
Woodpecker-Smythe is as of yet unmarried and childless but hopes to remedy that in the near future provided that some nice birds are available.
His friends include: Lady Lyme Weoghe, Lord Turnips, The Brigadier and Commodore Thorton-Pickle
His Nemeses include: Prince Otto, Johnny Sixguns, Lady Marzipan, The Fiendish Mustache of Ubergruppenfuhrer Von Ortel
During the merry years that followed, W-S, Jr., as he came to be called, enjoyed the finest education and worldly experiences his step-parents could provide. He was educated at Eton where he excelled at talking about Cricket, Rugby and World Affairs. He later made his official stage debut at 17, playing Sir Horace Pumpernickle, in “The Lokarian Chamberpot Merchant of Venice (See photo above).” Subsequently, he earned top marks, taking A-levels in Far Eastern Languages & Cinema, Method Acting, Arithmetic and Typesetting. Upon graduation, W-S entered Cambridge and met fellow Barrister’s Keepe members, Thornton-Pickle, the Brigadier and Lord Turnips along with Lady Lyme Weoghe and Lady Marzipan. At the time, none got along due to allergies and papal doctrine. While at Cambridge, W-S took a first in Dialectical Mathematics and Swains in Literature His 10 years at Cambridge ingrained in him a life-long love of learning, fine ales and snobbery.
Following graduation, He served briefly as chief morale and laundry officer aboard the HMS Buttered Toast, a Royal Navy minesweeper. Woodpecker-Smythe left the Navy upon the sudden death of his parents in a still-unexplained ballooning accident in the Alps on the estate of The Fiendish Mustache of Ubergruppenfuhrer von Ortel’s estate. But, as tradition had it, he was elevated to the Barony of Woodpecker on Shrewsbury, a very real sounding British title of nobility (see photo above).
Not to give in to tragedy, Woodpecker-Smythe, spent the next 10 years traveling about the world, making observations of the varied birds and drawing highly accurate representations in his notebooks. Along the way, he has encountered the following: fearsome hyenas, wyverns, swamps, Rakshasah hunters, Girl Guides ™, western gunslingers, discos, squash racquets and courts, Q-Devices, ruby tipped wands and egomanical pirates and submarine captains.
As a result of these and equally fascinating encounters, Woodpecker-Smythe has completed numerous one, two and three act plays, some of which have been presented at the Old Vic (sometimes with an audience). These include, “Face to Face with a Wyvern” and “The Murder of the Viking.”
Woodpecker-Smythe is as of yet unmarried and childless but hopes to remedy that in the near future provided that some nice birds are available.
His friends include: Lady Lyme Weoghe, Lord Turnips, The Brigadier and Commodore Thorton-Pickle
His Nemeses include: Prince Otto, Johnny Sixguns, Lady Marzipan, The Fiendish Mustache of Ubergruppenfuhrer Von Ortel
No comments:
Post a Comment