Monday, September 8, 2008

Precious Treasure




Captain Stuart Turnips and Scaramanga decided to purchase some corndogs from the vendor. Scaramanga figured that Mr. Woo was probably going to drive a hard bargain for the mysterious talisman that formed the Headstone of the Staff of Ra.
He knew that he had around 50 Pound Sterling in his wallet. That might be enough if Mr. Woo was desperate enough. He had the Golden Gun (tm) of course but he wasn't trading that for all the Egyptian biblical talismans in China.



As Captain Stuart Turnips and Scaramanga sat on the curb directly outside Mr. Woo's Magic Shoppe eating their corndogs and sipping their cans of refreshing Coca-Cola, they discussed in hushed tones the possibilities of the Headstone of the Staff of Ra. They seemed oblivious to the entire narrative of the previous few minutes where nearly half of Scaramanga's entourage of lackeys and yes men were mown down in a vicious, if spirited and victorious battle against a unit of General Wango Tang's CHICOM forces.

Captain Stuart spoke: "You know it just seems rather odd"

Scaramanga: "What does?"
Captain Stuart: "I don't even know why I wanted a corndog. I don't think I'd ever had one before. I just seemed to know that they were something that I might like. It was as if I had it in my soul somehow."
Scaramanga: "You mean like you were programmed for it?"
Captain Stuart: "Programmed? What is that?"
Scaramanga: "It means that even though you never consciously had the experience of eating a corndog, one of your ancestors or perhaps a future version of yourself has. This meme has passed via the collective unconsciousness somehow."
Captain Stuart: "Wow."
Scaramanga: "Its possible that a future version of you has enjoyed corndogs and that information has somehow passed to the four year old version of you. You merely lack the context for understanding these things."
Captain Stuart: "If that is true. I wonder if I can train myself to recognize this sort of thing?"
Scaramanga: "I don't see why not. If you are having the feeling that you feel something odd like this...rather something known as synchronicity, the temporally coincident occurrences of acausal events as Carl Jung would say. Although Jung was hung up on a sort of world spirit, feel-goody, mumbo jumbo that doesn't really seem to fit your craving for maize bread encrusted bangers. "
Captain Stuart: "Wow"
Scaramanga: "Yeah, i think a lot of this has something to do with the original inhabitants of Earth who lived in Atlantis. They seemed to have access to this kind of knowledge. They could manipulate various dimensions of time and space with impunity."
Captain Stuart: "Atlantis, eh? What is that?"
Scaramanga: "I think it was some sort of dolphin petting park. The people who worked there were once incredibly powerful super beings. Legend tells of men and women of superior intellect, amazing physical powers and some special attributes such as psionics and assorted other special powers such as flight or telekinesis."
Captain Stuart: "Dolphins, really?"
Scaramanga: "So the legend goes they ruled the dolphins and passed much of their intelligence onto the sea mammals. Many of their artifacts would have powerful magics. I wonder if Mr. Woo has any of those?"
Captain Stuart: "How do they do that saw-a-woman-in half trick anyway?"



8 comments:

  1. Corndogs ARE nature's most perfect food, you know.

    Nice description of "collective unconsciousness." And your described of it and Jung were at a level easily understood by a 4 year old. Not. That boy of yours is destined to be a super-genius, being exposed to stuff like that on a daily basis.

    Or insane.

    And, speaking of insane, the Vikings drove me insane last night with their incompetent boobery.

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  2. You know their discussion of the Ark of the Covenant was sort of "off-line"

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  3. The Vikings were discussing the Ark of the Covenant?

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  4. I note that I introduced Scaramanga and Captain Stuart sitting on the curb eating their corndogs as a conversation about the Ark.

    Clearly they were involved in discussions about metaphysics beyond the scope of the Ark. I need to follow up on the Ark stuff.

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  5. Yes, of course, Mr. Levy. Excellent work as always.

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  6. Better to provide an 80% solution 100% of the time than a 100% solution never.

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