Lord Toranaga continued his conversation with Lady M as his three henchmen, The White Shadow, PW Giant Chin and Jimmy stood mutely guarding the exits.
First, surveying the grand hall with sweeping hand motions, he spoke to his henchmen, “Dunderheads, do you recall when I bought this magnificent stronghold?”
The three simpletons nodded like marionettes.
“Are we gonna go downrange boss?” PW interjected.
“No, not now. I have yet to weaponize the combination of your common sense, the White Shadow’s pick-up lines and Jimmy's sense of humor.”
“OOOOH, I want to be called Jimmy Fresh!” Jimmy shouted.
To which the other two replied, “Shut up or we are gonna call you ‘&*# bird’!”
The situation was clearly headed in the wrong direction.
Lady Marzipan looked appalled at this cretinous behavior as well as the White Shadow's poor table manners (he was licking the top of his ale bottle). Toranaga realized he had to quickly regain control of this scene before this opportunity to sway Lady M's opinion was spoilt. Without her, his plans to extract and purify slag, phosphor-gypsum, and calcium sulfate wastewater from Antipodan Mountains would all be for naught for she had the technical knowhow.
Perhaps it was time for the tender, sensitive approach.
So, presently he turned to Lady Marzipan, appearing in soft focus; now holding a cute widdle baby tiger cub drinking from a bottle in his arms,” If this home doesn’t appeal to you we can live with our in-laws until we find the palace of our dreams or a citadel that some mid-level manager with Enterprise Rent-A-Frigate bought two years ago because it was real big and nice and he got a 3.8% loan with 42% ARM. Now he is divorced and has an addiction to oxycontin and Jack Daniels and can't pay the 4,500 gold piece per month mortgage. I love the pain and suffering of others during the holidays.”
Before, she could reply Toranaga added for good measure, “Oh and I’ll kill Johnny Sixguns if you don’t agree to marry me – being the sensitive type I’ll give you until the sunset tomorrow to decide – sleep tight.”
We all know its impossible to follow kids or animals...and you have used both...widdle babie animals.
ReplyDeleteI may be forced to use little Baby Turnips again. I promised Lady Turnips I should only use our charming papoose's visage only in extremis...like say a googily...one would only want to use the trick to get a particularly tough bowler.