The Talented Mr. Binky

Mr. Binky pushed his broom along the deck. Sweeping and brooming, that was his job. Sweep, sweep, sweep. Broom, broom, broom. Sweep, sweep, sweep. Broom, broom, broom. He liked the sound that made, so he said it out loud. "Sweep, sweep, sweep. Broom, broom, broom." All day long he worked to keep the Planetary Sovereign spic-n-span.

It was after the evening meal and Mr. Binky was sweeping and brooming along sub-deck 4. He liked to listen to all the hustle-n-bustle that was always going on in the giant ship. He couldn't really understand much of it, but he thought he might get smarter if he listened more.

"George, you oaf! This etching is of the Captain beating Turnips at whist. What possessed you to frame it in white lace? The frame should exude manliness and triumph. I don't know WHAT you were trying to accomplish, you simpleton!" "Chief Artisan Michael, look what you did, you made Georgie cry." "Be quiet, Andrew, and finish your frieze. It looks like my drunken mother threw up on it."

Mr. Binky didn't know what the HECK they were talking about, but Admiral Rossaroni's Artisans did lots of important work on the ship.

As Mr. Binky continued to sweep along the passageway he thought about how much he liked living on the Planetary Soverign. The Admiral was a good owner, and treated him very well. He was a lot nicer than his previous owner, Zirkast the Omnipotent. Sometimes Zirkast the Omnipotent would beat Mr. Binky. Admiral Rossaroni won Mr. Binky from Zirkast the Omnipotent a year ago, while gambling. Mr. Binky didn't really miss Zirkast the Omnipotent, but ZTO did give Mr. Binky super intelligence, so that had to count for something. But super intelligence for a monkey is only enough to qualify you to push a broom, and not enough to be any kind of criminal mastermind or rollerskate or anything like that. I don't care what the stories you've read say.

Mr. Binky didn't even miss his brothers and sisters in the jungle much, either. It was such a long time ago anyway, and he could hardly remember back that far.

By now, Mr. Binky was sweeping and brooming his way past Reserve Art Supply Room #7. He saw there was a strange light coming from under the door, along with some very sinister incidental music. He strained his monkey ears as hard as he could to hear what was being said.

"Lord Toronaga, we have just come from Kristal Stadt." Pause. "Yes, yes, the artifact is on board, your unholiness." Pause. "We will be passing north along the Forbidden Coast in 2 days." Pause. "Yes, my master, as you command. There will be no survivors."

The light went out.