The 5 Things That Future American Women are Looking For (in 1989)

Lord Turnips here again. It seems that the wayback machine has me stuck in Western Germany between 1988 and 1990. Outrageous fabrics and hairstyles appear to be the order of the day. I've been visiting the local public houses in the Rhine and Nahe river valleys where it appears that the young ladies are all named Zabena or Sabrina or Katrina. (The latter seemed to have a crew of young men clad in full length wool coats with her whom she referred to as "the Waves").

Anyway, I learned something from these ladies that I'd like to share with you. Well, not these ladies. In fact I learned something from the young ladies who were visiting fair Germany from the North American colonies in something called the Air Force militia. (There is that Air Force militia again. You may recall that from an earlier note).

• American women want a man with a deep voice
• American women want a man who is in touch with his feelings
• American women want a man who can dance
• American women want a man who is comfortable in all settings
• American women want a man who can get them drinks

It appears they are looking for this guy