In the bleak mid-winter I often travel to visit my comrade-in-arms, Admiral Rossaroni’s, at his heroic citadel, Barrister’s Keepe. We tell tales of past adventures and enjoy fine ales served in goblets fashioned from fine Greyhawk silver and crystal. Sometimes I stop by to borrow fifty feet of rope and a bullseye lantern (I rarely employ the lantern however, since I possess the half-elf’s infravision).
I recall a favorite tale wherein I defeated a Catoblepas, a nightmare creature, loathsome beyond description. Its body resembles that of a huge bloated buffalo and gives off an offensive odor. The odor, naturally, matches its favorite haunt – the fetid swamp. Regrettably, this creature’s gaze causes death in manner similar to a wizard’s death ray spell.
Before, I could complete my marvelous epic, the Admiral interrupted. He waved away Schott, his oaf, then leaned over and carefully explained to me that we would be embarking on his ship, the Planetary Sovereign to undertake a rescue mission to find Lady Marzipan and her manservant Johnny 6G.
Luckily, I’d packed my Wand of Illusion, a few scrolls, two weeks rations and some healing potions. No one will ever say Woodpecker-Smythe, 10th level illusionist is ever unprepared!
But we still needed able-bodied back-up for the Admiral’s trusty steel, the +5 magic sword “Sabrina Tuberculomata Teleutosorus" and my amazing skills at magic.
Now, just where in the world could we find the types of adventurers willing to round out our party on such short notice?
“Fedor's Tavern?” I thought out loud
What in blue blazes is Sabrina Tuberculomata Teleutosorus? Sabrina is most likely a German girl's name, but the other 2 vex me. It has something to do with plan reproductive systems or brain tumors, as far as I can tell.
ReplyDeleteBut, good stuff all around regardless. And don't forget the 2 week supply of gin when you gather the supplies.
See you at Fedor's!
Those are 'spam' email names i received via the interwebs!
ReplyDelete