Sunday, November 9, 2008

You Only Live Thrice OR ... HAI KARATE!!!!!!

Turbulent weather appeared on the horizon. Clouds roiled, waves tossed, seabirds careened and cartwheeled about the ev’r darkening sky.

Johnny Sixguns was first to note the change in atmospherics, “Aye, there’s turnbulent weather afoot.”

“I think you mean ‘tur-bu-lent’ not 'turnbulent' Johnny” replied Lady Marzipan.

“No I mean turnbulent – see, look at the donkey’s tail on this comical barometer I picked up in the Black Forest – the tail is swinging around and translating from the German interpretation beneath, it means ‘the weather will be turnbulent.’”

To which Lady M retorted, “You are the biggest idiot I’ve ever met, remind me to murder you later … if we survive.”

Before Sixguns could reply, lighting arced across the turnbulent sky …..

“STOP saying ‘turnbulent’ !” Lady M screamed above the din.

“… the turbulent sky, striking the small craft, sending its occupants about forty feet into the air.”

The streaking pair left behind the lifeboat which was promptly crushed into matchstick sized remnants by the next wave (which, for foreshadowing’s sake was depicted in the 17th century Japanese woodcut style).

Eventually, dawn came and our two travelers awoke covered with seaweed and surrounded by a forest of poles with pointy-bladey things affixed to their termini. These of course might better be described as halberds but neither Johnny Sixguns or Lady M were in any shape to recall the fantastic weaponry of the AD&D Players Handbook (version 1).

To the shouts of onlookers, Lord Toranaga confidently strode through the crowd and parted the mass of weapons to better assess the situation. He gazed down at the bedraggled survivors.

Groggily, Lady M raised here head and spoke “Have you ever heard the one about Rene Descartes in the bar?”

No comments:

Post a Comment