
Before Zimbar could reply Bocking continued “Well I guess, on second thought its really sort of an odd amalgamation of flesh golem and bronze or brass, I can never quite tell.”
“Wow, check this out” Zimbar exclaimed as he lifted the chest plate, “It’s a secret chamber and there’s a business card inside.”
“Fork it over munchkin”
“Hey, what’s with the munchkin talk?”
“You see Zimbar my simple friend, it’s your crainial capacity I reference, not your stature”
“Ooh I get it”
“I don’t think you do, now let me examine this calling card.”
“Alright already, don’t get your chain mail in a wad.”
Bocking examined the card, turning it over and over again in his fingers, “Classic white vellum with narrow blue piping below the logo – this is the work of elvish printers. Hmm, this reads (in old elvish and common), ‘Manses Burgled, Marks Charmed , Security Systems Evaluated’ and it has a name and address on it as well - ‘Salina, 10th Level Thief, The Goblin’s Head Tavern, No. 8 Kierkegaard Square’.”
Zimbar was elated “Do you think she’s cute?”
“Would you please focus on the task at hand?” Bocking continued, “I think she has something we want, namely the device that was stored here inside Fedor for safekeeping – I wonder if we can get this Fedor-golem started.”
Meanwhile, topside, Turnips awoke with a rude sunburn. He’d been tormented by dreams of Hannon again but this time another figure from his past had appeared – a charming and dexterous thief. It was a sign surely. He would alert the Admiral to put in at the next port – he remembered her having an office there in a tavern on Kierkegaard Square. That tavern was kind of odd in that it was frequented by young people in black turtleneck chainmail but the hot chocolate and hummus they served was delicious!
Turnips was momentarily lost in thought but the knocking at his cabin door proved hard to ignore.
“Come in – its open” he called out
Woody and the Admiral entered.
“So what do you think about this Fedor business Woody?” Turnips asked.
“Why Fedor is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life.” Woody replied.
Lordy!!!
ReplyDeleteFrom the top of the turnbuckle...booya!
Nicely done. I laughed out loud at the last ref to Manchurian Candidate. Lovely.
Turnips,
ReplyDeleteThank you - this was clearly a tribute column to the previous column and Turnips love of the MC.
W-S