Shut up and hold this Gin and Tonic!

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

Consciousness was slowly returning to Lord Woodpecker-Smythe. A little too slowly for his liking, because he really wanted to know what the infernal thumping was and whether it represented anything dangerous. Since the last thing he remembered was the image of a resolute Lady Marzipan activating something suspiciously like a Q-device, he could be waking up just about anywhere, and anywhen. Could it be a herd of Elephants charging down on him, just like those crazy Africa stories that Brigadier Rossaroni is always telling? Well, thought W-S, let's open our eyes and see what's going on. Blur. Wait, more's coming in... blurry movement. That's not much help. Oh wait, it's not blurry any more, it's some sort of shiny, spinning globe on the ceiling that's reflecting light off of it.

"Hey, dummkopf! Get off the floor. This is a disco, not a peasant flop-house," yelled a passerby in German, to the amusement of his entourage.

So, W-S was in a disco, whatever that was. He noticed that the inhabitants of this room, far from being annoyed with the unending thumping and blinding lights, seemed to be actually enjoying themselves. His reverie was cut short, however, when something grabbed his elbow.

"Come on, professor. I don't have all day," spoke an agitated Lady Marzipan, pulling W-S towards the bar.

Ah, the bar. Now there was something he could identify with. He might not know where he was, or when he was, but he knew he needed a drink. But first, what is going on? He started to ask, "I say, Lady M, what's all this strange..." but Marzipan cut him off. "Look, Lord Whatever-your-name-is, I don't have a lot of time, and I don't speak these savages gutter tongue, so I need you to do exactly what I say RIGHT NOW. Buy me a Gin and Tonic, here's some money."

Lord Woodpecker-Smythe was understandibly confused, and just stared at her with a certain kind of slackness to his jaw. "Do it now, your Lordship! Do you think the only dangerous machine I have with me is a Q-Device?" said Lady M as she briefly opened her Jay Herbert purse, made from off-white supple calfskin leather, with a gold shoulder strap and pearl embossed clasp, which went quite nicely with her total ensemble, to show a rather dangerous looking pistol.

W-S did as he was told and handed the drink to Lady M. She took a sip of it. "Blast! This one isn't even close. Clauswitz must have been lying. Damn, I wish I hadn't sent him back to his own time already. But he was nothing but trouble from the moment I kidnapped him in 1829. And all he did at my appartment was watch stupid sci-fi movies on tv all day when he should have been helping me search for gin. Hey, Lord Woodpicker, find out what kind of gin this drink has in it." W-S was not paying attention though, as he was busily enagaged in drinking his own Gin and Tonic (which tasted fine to him) and chatting up some local gal named Sabina, or something like that.

Lady M was agitated again. "Get your limey arse over here!" she bellowed to the oblivious W-S. "Yah, meine schöne junge Frau, I will get over there," said a young patron who came up to Lady M, not knowing what extreme danger he was in. "Would you like me to buy you a drink?" he said, in a deep baritone. "Or maybe we could just dance and then talk about our innermost feelings. Ooh, Big Country is playing. I love that group. They're Scottish, you know." Lady M, who had been reaching into her purse for something, suddenly had a very heartfelt expression on her face. "No," she said, seemingly struggling with something. "Must... focus on the mission." And then the look was gone, and her visage went back to 'Steely Determination.' "Beat it Fritz," she said. She then let out a long sigh and then grabed W-S. "Didn't you hear me, doc?" Lord Woodpecker replied, "Oh terribly sorry, my dear. I thought you were monologuing, and I figured I had a bit of time to get to know young Sabina here... oh drat, she's gone off. Oh well, c'est la vie. And don't mention this to Lady Lime Wedge either, eh. Wink, wink, and all that."

"Shut up and hold this Gin and Tonic," was all the assurance W-S received from Lady Marzipan, as she started operating controls on the Q-Device. "What was the brand of Gin in this drink?" she asked. "Why, it most certainly was Schlichte Steinhager. Not my favorite though, mind you. I prefer Cadenhead's Old Raj Gin myself," said W-S as the room started to spin in the increasingly all too familiar Q-Device time travelling style.